Bryce vs The Boy Scout
by BethMoore
Summary: AU. Bryce is still alive, in a CIA bunker. Chuck/Sarah implied.


Ever since the beginning I have hated Chuck Bartowski.  
He had the nice sister, the decent upbringing and was loved by just about everyone.

You see, I didn't die that day in the building. No, they brought me back again. Only this time I guess my views of black/White have been clouded and now they were shades of grey and to be honest, I couldn't tell the good from the bad anymore. I suppose that's how I ended up joining Volkoff and his gang, they were masochists but we were all similar in a way, we had nothing to lose.

I once had it all, the career, the girl, the looks and the celebrity lifestyle and then a putz that gets paid to wear a pocket protector stole it all from me. Well, except the looks and the lifestyle, I mean _come on_; I am still talking about chuck here.

But, the thing that bugs me is how he bagged a chick as hot as Sarah Walker. It was understandable for me to date her, but Chuck's a lanky nerd who cried for five years when I slept with his girlfriend one time. Not just _one_, but eh... Who's counting here? Anyway, the thing that bugged me most about the Chuck/Sarah situation was that she let him in; she dropped her defences and fell in love. Eurgh, just thinking about that makes me sick to the stomach. It was always supposed to be Sarah and Bryce, not Sarah and Chuck, and ever since I was shot and presumed dead I have been there, watching them, and their lives. Skulking in the shadows, unseen and unheard, because even though Chuck had the status, I was the real spy and it was what i did best.

I proposed to her, you know. More than once actually but I was turned down, repeatedly. Apparently Sarah Walker was too god damn professional to have something other than a physical relationship with a co-worker, and I almost laughed when I saw them the other day, gazing at wedding rings through a shop window, holding hands so sickly sweet that i couldn't even watch.

I used to think that he wanted a relationship with Sarah to get revenge at me, for taking Jill, and I'm not completely sure that my hypothesis was wrong either. I didn't even really like Jill Roberts, she was something Chuck had that I didn't and i couldn't take it. I heard when they briefly got back together, and Jill lied out of her back teeth and told him that we never did sleep together, always the deceitful one, hey Jill.

Because I'm telling you everything here, I might as well tell you the real reason why I sent the Intersect to Chuck. I didn't actually think it would work, I thought it might do something to him, maybe damage him, but I didn't care. I regret it now, sending that email to him, I'd tried so hard to stop him from joining the spy world because that was mine. The spy life was full of excitement and adventure and I didn't want Chuck having that too, call me selfish but it was the one place where I wouldn't be crushed with how much of a good little Boy Scout Chuck Bartowski actually was. Kicking him out of Stanford was just an excellent bonus, it makes me grin when I think back to the look on his face when he packed up his boxes and headed back to Ellie.

But now he's got his remaining credits, he got over Jill Roberts, he warmed those of the coldest hearts, and he got the girl I couldn't get, Sarah Walker.

And even though I loathed him, he was my only friend. Every breath I took and movement I made was formed of hate for Chuck Bartowski and then he comes along, all polite and nice, as if he didn't see my hatred.

You see, taking about this has confused my views again because now, I realise I have nothing to hate him for. He deserved to be happy, after how I treated him.

Oh god, I don't know what to think anymore, I don't know what I thought. And I guess now I'm okay that he got the girl, got Sarah. I didn't deserved her anyway, I'm disgusting, a parasite.

I'm glad I'm finally once and for all, getting this off my chest. I'm happy that for a change, things are clearing up. It could be an epiphany, but it could also be the fact that the Intersect 2.0 is forcing my brain to deteriorate. I had kept it a secret for so long, I almost forgot it was there. I too, along with chuck, saw the screens that showed the images of the new intersect computer.

Yes, I may have changed sides, but the intersect was the only loyalty I had to the CIA, and even if I wanted to give up information I Couldn't, those damn 'flashes' hurt my brain too much, and that's why I'm sat here staring at four rubber Walls for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, In a special facility created by the central intelligence agency themselves.

I'd like you to take this recording and give it to chuck after I die. And I know he'd feel guilty about the governor but I did in fact know about it, and had declined the offer of receiving one.

And Chuck, if you do hear this, I'm so sorry. There's not much I can say now that can take away the suffering I endured on you. I hope you know that I'm really glad I saw the error of my ways before I die.

But look after Sarah for me will you?

She's special and a hell'uva catch, and now you've grabbed her, never let her go.

They always said that Nerds never got the girls, but buddy? I think you found a loop-hole.


End file.
